thoughts are like actions. they’re relative and relatively meaningless.

why do i always feel productive at night as im trying to sleep?
this isn’t working.
very few things seem to work the way they are suppose to.
the faucet in my shower doesn’t work like it suppose to.
sometimes you turn it to the left and its scalding.
in an involuntary frantic reactive gesture,
you turn it all the way to the right,
and its even hotter.
fucking brilliant.
as i said,
nothing works as its suppose to.
except the things that are not suppose to work.
those things tend to be very reliable.
like cheap toilet paper.
“id like to invest in cheap toilet paper.”
“invest in it how, sir?”
“invest in the fact that the user will always need more than 5 sections for any given wipe.”
“invest in the odds that the user will still either have their shit permeate through or fingers tear through to the other end of the previously mentioned 5 sections.”
“il even invest in the chance that the user will always be uncomfortable and will probably feel a sensation that reminds them of rugburn.”
list of things that do not work as promised:
governments (all of them)
oil cleanups – we wash our crudely slick animals in tide dish detergent! (this product is not tested on animals)

in a way. its just as well that most things dont work as they should; aside from cheap toilet paper ( wouldnt it be refreshing to just once wipe with what you perceive to be crappy TP and experience a pleasant surprise of soft fluffy durability?). Since nothing is certain, it evens out the playing field. we have no guarantees. and while it makes for wanton human suffering, it can also make it exciting and different every single day of the year. the best you can hope for is to be flexible and be able to adapt quickly. suffer well my friends.

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